sometimes words cannot express the joy or happiness that someone is experiencing in their life...also words cannot thank God enough for bringing the joy and happiness into your life. Life is better when you notice the little things that God brings into your life. When you are angry at God, I know that I did not notice anything that I notice now. I know I ran away and blocked out that still calm voice telling me and guiding me. But when I finally realized and listened after the anger in my heart disappeared and after my bitterness left me, life started to get better. This not only happened in my life but also happened in the life of Tim. People are noticing things are different in our lives. This past weekend, I spent time with Tim and his family in Arkansas. while talking, B told me that she noticed that Tim was down and depressed last year and that she could see a change in him this visit. We were also able to enjoy each others company in a beautiful part of Arkansas. Yes arkansas has some very amazing and breath taking parts.

This weekend was a learning experience for both of us and it was a romantic and intimate weekend. We both were very vulnerable to each other. We saw the depth of each other's souls and deep into our hearts. Having someone knowing you that intimate and deep is a very scary feeling. First because you are opening up greatly and secondly because you are not sure how the other person would respond. Also when you are this intimate, you will definately hurt greatly if anything ever happens like a break-up. But Tim and I do not date around just to date. We also would not get this intimate unless we were serious about things and hope for a future. Considering what Tim and I have both gone thru, we believe that God brought us together for a reason. Considering since November of last year, we both have relied on each other greatly. When anything went wrong, Tim was the first person I called. Any time of the day. We would talk to each other bout things that we would tell no one else. So sharing things between us has never been a problem. But the intimate stuff was hard and scary. But we both got through it.

I was able to see Tim's past, present, and future all in one weekend. It was an honor to be shown that. In the process of Tim showing me this, I hurt it. It was really bad of me and it hurt me tremendously to have known that I hurt him. But the time I had by myself allowed me to compose myself again and give me time to think. After that, I was in a much better mood and felt more at home than anything. Another factor in wanting time alone was cause i was tired and that I wasn't feeling too well. But just knowing that you hurt someone you care so much about really breaks my heart. We were able to move forward. I learned a lot bout myself and Tim and how we interact.

We saw God's beauty over and over that weekend. Saw the sunrise over the river, saw various caves and trees, star gazing and saw two shooting stars. It is wonderful to be able to share and experience God's beauty with someone that you care so much bout. God confirms his love to me over and over.